We have a boy, ladies and jellyspoons!

Yes, indeed, Dan put the stem on the apple.

I love how it just says "GENDER" with an arrow, no "BOY". Pretty obvious, really

The tech asked us if we wanted to know the gender and when we said yes, well, Dan had barely sat down before she said, "It's a boy." It took us both so by surprise that Dan started uncontrollably laughing. I of course started crying, just a few tears, nothing nuts.

Tristan James was less than cooperative the rest of the ultrasound. He had his hands over his face and was wedged into some weird position like a picture taken of him trying to do a somersault just as his legs got up over his head. His chin was mashed to his chest and he didn't seem real interested in moving. The tech even dumped my bed halfway upside down and poked him a bunch, but all he did was swat the air (or amniotic fluid, rather) as if to say, " 'Ey! I'm sleepin' in heeyah!" He is our son already.

He's measuring ahead on his head and torso but short on his legs, and therefore I can already tell he has Dan's  body. Long torso, stumpy legs, big head.

I am so in love with my son it's ridiculous. I wish it wasn't 5 months until I can hold him in my arms, but I know since this is the only pregnancy we plan on having I better cherish all the kicks and even the discomfort because it will be over before I know it.

Now all the fun shopping can begin!

SKELETOR! I love his little eye up there.

Wavin' his lil butt in the air. I can't wait to pinch that little tushy.

Ahh, help me!

I am doing everything to get this day to go by faster. Note to self: DO NOT KILL TIME AT THE GROCERY STORE! When you do this you walk outta there with an $80 tab, and enough pent up aggression to contemplate bitch slapping the middle aged woman in line at the checkout behind you.

I had a cart full of stuff. Ol' cowbag behind me slapped a divider on the conveyor belt when I had three items up there, so when the belt would advance I'd have to push all her crap back just to fit my stuff up there. I had to do this probably 87 times before I was done. She also was standing so close to me I could swear she was gonna lick my ear, yet she had her nose in her pocketbook, not the slightest bit concerned all her shizz was in my way. She was not old and senile, so don't go "Jeeze Lindsey, you're being a bit of a snatchbasket." No no...no, she was not a cute little old lady, the kind I have a soft spot for. She was the brand of "eccentric crazy woman who probably pisses off most everyone she encounters cuz she's so flipping rude" middle aged old.

And Pickle kicked me hard just now. Guess they're saying:

You beat that horse, Mister. Beat it!

So I bought funfetti cupcakes, cream cheese frosting and pink and blue frosting gel to announce whether it's a boy or a girl after tomorrow's ultrasound. I'm sending them to work with Dan so he can play Proud Papa, beam and brag all day. Everyone will slap him on the back and possibly buy him lunch. Or at least a soda or something. 

And I got my maternity support band in the mail. This thing... *sigh*. I think I'm in love. It touches me in all the right ways. And by that I mean it put my back into alignment again. It has been feeling like I'd been donkey punched in the arse, and the pain was starting to shoot down both legs. Sleeping has been hell also. Hopefully this will help. And I can FINALLY go back to the gym. 

Anyone else ever noticed "hallelujah" is an incredibly weird word?

Kicking!

I've been feeling Pickle's movement off and on for several weeks now. It started with flutters and feeling like a goldfish was swimming in my stomach. That was an incredibly weird sensation, and the first real physical evidence (save the ultrasounds) that proved I had a little person in there.

Well now at 18 weeks Pickle is kicking up a storm. I've felt them from the outside already multiple times, to the point Dan can feel them also. It's so reassuring to know Pickle is moving around in there and from everything we've seen so far, is totally healthy. I'm still paranoid that the medication I was on before I knew I was pregnant will somehow cause damage (Google is NOT your friend, Dr Pham has assured me time and again the likelihood it caused any issues is so slim, but I can't help but worry). For now it's a nice distraction from all that worry to just be happy with those magical little kicks.

Still waiting for my maternity support band, which is taking forever to get here from Amazon. I haven't worked out in over a week and it's making me feel bloated and lazy, but my belly is big enough at this point that the bouncing from walking on the treadmill pulls on the ligaments in the sides of my stomach and causes a significant amount of discomfort.

Big anatomy scan in two days. I have several errands to run and some chores to do today that will hopefully make the day go by quickly. I'll have to figure out something for tomorrow so I don't sit here twiddling my thumbs, watching the clock and making the day slow to a crawl in anticipation.

Whatta day!

Today, I decided, would be the mother of all cleaning days in an attempt to rid our house of what has been an ongoing flea problem.

I did WAY too much.

I made new batches of eco-safe cleaner, boiled cloves and cinnamon sticks to make homemade fabric freshener (went to pour the first batch into another container while straining, and was so tired I simply poured it through the strainer into the bottom of the sink and down the drain, not realizing what I was doing until the pan was empty), then stripped the sectional of all it's cushion covers and washed them (16 huge cushions that are down filled is SUCH a pain in the arse to hand pluck clean), took all the drapes down and washed them, cleaned all the window edging and sills, stripped the bed, remade the bed, washed the giant mats in the bathroom, washed the kitchen sink rug, swept the bathroom and kitchen, vacuumed and edged the baseboards...it felt never-ending. It's 6:09pm...I started at 10am.

This diatomaceous earth shit better work on getting rid of these fleas, given the price tag and the amount of super pregnant elbow-grease I put into cleaning everything I could.

Speaking of price tags, what is it with men being toilet paper wasters? Seriously? If I live to be a hundred I will never fully grasp why a man needs a roll and a half of TP to use the bathroom.

First post

I haven't blogged in a very long time. I actually deleted all of my old blog because it had been so long and frankly, I'm a totally different person now. Two years will do that to you.

Me, 7th birthday party. Yep, I was a dork!

Dan in grade school

In the last two years I got out of a very tumultuous off and on relationship of 6 years, and reconnected with a guy I've known since 2nd grade. We were in the same group of friends, especially in 5th grade. It's fun to reminisce (especially since we had the same teacher that year, Mrs. Bishop, who we both hated and called "Mrs. Bitch-op". We were foul mouthed even at 10-11, what can I say? Not a lot has changed.

Anyway, I'd had a string of bad short-lived relationships after the ex and I split, so when Dan asked me out I said yes but wasn't sure I should even go.

The night of the date rolled around and I was just exhausted, I'd had insomnia after being laid off from the pharmacy where I was a technician. I asked him if we could meet a little earlier, he said of course. I'd learn later he was so looking forward to our date that he'd taken off of work early to go get a haircut, shower and get all prettied up for me. He'd wanted to ask me out for a couple months but the one time he mustered the courage to ask me out I had just started seeing someone (for all of 3 weeks, whooh!) and then had a bad incident with another guy from high school. So when he saw a Facebook update that said, "Never date the guy from high school you thought was cool but in reality is a total douche" he figured that wasn't the best time either. So he waited another month and finally after a night of his weekly pool league and a couple drinks he emailed me at midnight (thinking I wasn't up) and said, "Hey, this is totally random but I find you really interesting and was wondering if I could take you out sometime?" Lucky me and my insomnia I was up and saw it right away and replied. He said he froze when he got such a quick response and was sure it said "No." We set a date for that Friday, and all I can say is that day turned out to be the one that would change my life in so many ways, all for the better.

Needless to say, when he arrived and I saw him round the car in the parking lot and he came walking towards me I became seriously jell-o-kneed. He looked sexy as hell in a rocker tee and tight in all the right places Levis. He had sexy little glasses on too, and if it weren't for my self control I'd have probably jumped on him against the nearest vehicle right there in the parking for God and everyone to see. But instead I played it cool. We had a great dinner then went to see a movie. I wanted him to grab my hand or touch me, I kept giving signals I wanted him to, but nada. He later told me he was so intimidated, he thought I was way too cool for him and there was no way I liked him. He took me home and since he didn't say anything really and didn't look at me I mumbled if he wanted to get in touch my number was on my Facebook profile and he could get it that way (it was pretty late by this point). I thought he didn't like me at all. I still tease him for not even looking at me when he dropped me off. Poor guy, he was crippled!

Well, he sent me a text the next day saying he had a great time, and that was the start of us being pretty much inseparable. We kissed for the first time about a week later and no one had ever kissed me like that in my life, I kinda wobbled when we separated (which was mighty embarrassing). I pretty much decided right then he was mine and there was no way I was letting him get away. We fell in love really quickly, when two people connect like that there's no reason to deny it. We have a connection that is just cellular, I can sense how he's feeling when he's 30 miles away from me at work. I find it funny I told people I was in love with them before him, because I really don't see how that was love anymore. But I also realize most people aren't as lucky as Dan and I are to experience this genuine unconditional love that so rarely happens (not that we're always schmoopy dorks, I call him four-eyes and he calls me snaggletooth, we can be what most people would find pretty mean and un-pc around our own home). We were married December 20th, 2009 in a very intimate ceremony with just our family present.

Dan was so tired, look at those purple bags under his eyes!

I know people say "I will never get divorced" but to me it's just an unspoken certainty. I can't fathom not ever loving this man. I can only imagine my already overwhelming love for him will grow even more once our child is here. We tried so hard for this baby, had several heartbreaking losses and had completely stopped trying when we were pleasantly surprised by a positive pregnancy test upon a trip to the doctor after I got a concussion. Pregnancy tests are standard in women of childbearing age before undergoing a head CT. I thought it was

We have baby!

pretty special actually that not only did we both find out at exactly the same instant but we both were not expecting it at all. It took a few days to sink in it was real, and we were basket cases through the first trimester. Oh, and I skipped that head CT by the way; the doctor was hell bent on getting me to do it, but I said no way, this baby is getting a fighting chance and there wasn't enough evidence to support getting one and risking exposing the baby to all that radiation. The day was July 14th, 2009, I can still remember the date within even stopping to think.

16 weeks 5 days

I am 18 weeks along today and we have our gender scan next Wednesday the 27th to find out if Dan "put the stem on the apple". We really want a boy because this is the only biological child we plan on having, and there is an awful lot of female cancers in our family. Of course we will be thrilled with whatever we get, but to quote Steel Magnolias "I know he wants a son so bad he can taste it." I guess we shall see, stay tuned!