When I hadn't heard from the clinic by 10am I took it upon myself to call them. I talked to the nurse I'd been dealing with all along there at High Risk, and she's been really nice thus far but she was a bit of a snot today. I said I didn't want to be a pest but wanted to know if I was to be seen tomorrow. She checked with the doc and he said they wanted to wait a week to see if anything changed, if 2.7cm was just my measurement or if something is changing. I told her, "well, no, I was 3.2 two weeks ago. So in two weeks I've gone from 3.2 to 2.7, and I've already had four losses which is why I don't want to wait." Sounds reasonable, right, and they were misinformed as to what is going on with me. Her response? A sarcastic "OH-Kaaaaay! Well I'll just put that you could NOT wait." Wow, someone needs a xanax. Or a swift kick to the ass. I just cheerily said, "ok". She said "my medical advice is to wait" (as if I care at this point what her medical advice is) "but if you really want I can schedule you tomorrow. Don't be surprised if they want to see you again next week." I again cheerily replied, "that's fine" and really it is, something is going on and the closer I'm monitored the better. I'm already in so deep financially with this I can't even stress about it anymore, whatever gets Tristan here safe. That nurse must have said four or five times she could schedule me for the next day, almost trying to talk me out of it. I kept my cool on the phone but was getting exceedingly irritated. What is the matter with the health care industry around here? When I was a pharmacy tech and worked at the hospital in the trauma call center speaking to patients and parents with routine issues to life threatening emergencies I never, ever, EVER spoke to patients the way the people at my two OB clinics have spoken to me (even when the patients were obnoxious or flat out rude). Because it's nothing personal, and they are sick and scared and uncomfortable and need help. Sure, there have been nice people I've dealt with throughout this ordeal. But there have by far and away been many more rude staff. This is not in my head, I'm not imagining my cervix shortening, I didn't make up my cancer and subsequent LEEP surgery, and I certainly didn't dream that I miscarried four babies.
Dan's boss actually gave him the afternoon off so he can go with me. Which I was really hoping for, we really both need to be there for this appointment to find out what is going on, what our treatments are and what we can expect.
I need to take a deep breath, all this stress is not helping.
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