First day of bed rest

So last night Dan got the big flat screen moved into the bedroom, we moved the cable box, modem and PS3 too. I've got a few shakes and bars in here for the day, and my laptop.  This weekend we're getting a big cooler from Dan's mom to put nutritious snacks in so that I'm not subsisting on bars and pre-packaged shakes simply because they're accessible and portable. Not adequate nutrition for Tristan, or me for that matter.

I wrote up a big email to my mom and good friend Shannon asking for help with the grocery shopping and possibly cooking up some easy dinners that will store well so that Dan doesn't have to worry about cooking after working 12 hours. I worry so much what all this extra stress and pressure will do to him. He's already so tired from his 2-2.5 hour a day commutes and 10 long hours on his feet all day, non-stop on the go work.

If I ever complain about my husband it's because I'm spoiled, because I can't imagine anyone being as amazing about all of this as he is. He doesn't complain, he just does it. If he's tired he doesn't say anything, he just puts a smile on his face, gives me a kiss and says, "ok".

I had a horrifying nightmare last night that I went into labor and delivered my baby. No one was around, it was just me and I held my baby, felt their heart beat and then they died in my arms. I was screaming for help but no one came. I was sobbing in the dream so hard I woke myself up crying. I know this is just my fears playing out in my dreams, but it was so vivid that I had an extremely difficult time falling back asleep.

This morning Tristan has kicked and poked me several times, and I saw either his little foot or fist push my stomach way up. I love this little boy so much. Please just let this bed rest work.

I'm waiting to hear back this morning if I'm going in tomorrow for another ultrasound and to assess whether I have to have a cerclage (I don't see how I'm going to avoid it at this point given my history). I just pray if I do there are no complications.